I had a cervical smear test the other day

I had a cervical smear test the other day.

And asked the nurse if I could insert the speculum myself.

A kind woman, she agreed with no hesitation, although it clearly wasn’t a standard request.

I’d put this exam off for years, harmed at the fingers of a holistic practitioner with benign incompetence.

Who’s session I’d left shattered, a breaking point back then.