The Risk of Performance.

Last night was the Christmas jamboree for the choir I perform with (Feral voices). 

It was a wonderful evening with a twinkly-magical-connective-community vibe, where we got to perform for each other. 

I put my name down to perform a poem and a song.

The poem went down well, it’s one of my own and I’ve performed it a few times. I was somewhat nervy, but overall it was in my comfort zone.

The song though was a bit wonky. I sang Oh Danny Boy and I started it in the wrong key as I was so shaky and scared. 

At around the half way point I gestured to everyone to join in and help me. 

A mistake turned into this wonderful moment of community support and togetherness. 

My inner perfectionist hates this. I wanted to be seen in my competence and charisma, but instead I got witnessed in my vulnerable, messy, human-ness. And I got loved there.

That’s the payoff of risks, we don’t always get what we want. 

Sometimes we get what we need, and overall we get to be someone who tries.